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What are you really weighing?

Are you someone who jumps on the scales at every opportunity? 

In my 20 years of clinical practice, I have never weighed a client. In fact, if you’re a chronic weigher, I encourage you to step away from the scales—for good. 

Here’s why. 

You’re only weighing your self-esteem

For the vast majority of people—women especially—when they weigh themselves regularly, what they’re really doing is weighing their self-esteem. When you have linked your weight to your worth, the outcome of your daily weigh-in can completely change the course of your day. You either jump on those scales and feel great about yourself or your entire day is derailed and you’re left feeling lousy. If you come away feeling lousy, it can affect the choices you make throughout the rest of the day—from the food choices you make to whether you feel like socialising or not. Beyond this, it can affect the way you talk to yourself in your own head, potentially further cementing self-judgement and criticism. 

The thing is, you are so much more than your weight. That number doesn’t tell you anything about your beautiful heart, the light in your eyes, your generous spirit or how loved (and loveable) you are in this world. When you link your self-worth to your weight and use it as your main measure of progress, you set yourself up to feel like you’re failing because—as you’ll see in the next points—your weight isn’t the best measure of your health and it can be affected by numerous factors. Focus on the things that you can control, like taking the very best care of yourself.

Just because you weigh a little more one day, doesn’t even mean that it’s body fat. It’s entirely common for your body weight to fluctuate depending on how much fluid you’re retaining. Changes can occur across our menstrual cycle and/or with the kinds of foods (and fluids) we’re consuming. But you don’t think about this when you jump on the scale. You just assume that the number has jumped up (or down) because you’ve gained (or lost) body fat. It’s impossible for you to put on a kilogram or more of fat in a day. The body just doesn’t work this way. 

Your muscle to body fat ratio (i.e. your body composition) can affect your overall body weight

You may have heard the phrase “muscle weighs more than fat” and wondered how that could be. Of course, a kilo of body fat versus a kilo of muscle will weigh the same, the key difference is how much space they take up. Muscle is much denser than body fat so you can effectively weigh more but appear leaner when you build muscle in your body. Have you ever seen those images of a group of women who all weigh the same on the scales but have vastly different body shapes and sizes? 

You can see changes in your body by how your clothes fit you

It’s possible for there to be positive changes in your body without there being much change (or any change) in your total body weight. Rather than using weight as a measure of progress, I encourage noticing how your clothes are fitting. I’ve had numerous clients who noticed their clothes loosening significantly, yet when they decided to check their scale weight, it didn’t seem to reflect the extent of the changes they were noticing in their physical body. And then they felt lousy, despite the fact that their clothes were looser and they were (previously) feeling amazing.

So why weigh yourself at all? Your health is so much more than just your weight. It’s how you feel on a daily basis—how much energy you have, your clarity of mind, the way your digestion works, your emotional landscape and whether your hormones cause you chaos or not. And your body will naturally find its most comfortable weight when you are healthy, which means you have to be healthy to lose weight and not the other way around. 

So, if you have a set of scales in the bathroom, I encourage you to find a new home for them. Maybe in the garage as your new luggage scales or perhaps in the bin! 

Supporting yourself through the stress of natural disaster

It’s been an incredibly difficult start to the year in Australia. The devastation that has already been caused by the bushfires raging across the country is hard to fathom and we are yet to see an end in sight. 

Collectively our hearts are breaking for those who have been affected in one way or another—as well as the trees and the millions of precious creatures who have lost their lives. And it’s not just Australians who are feeling this deeply. The outpouring of grief is coming from around the globe. 

During times like this the likelihood of us spending more time in “fight or flight” increases. Our body’s natural stress response was designed for this very kind of thing—to alert us of potential danger in order to keep us safe. For some, this stress is due to a very real threat to their lives, livelihood or loved ones. For others, it’s more emotional stress as they feel compassionate distress for those who are affected. The stress response—while it may differ in intensity depending on whether we are directly or indirectly affected by something—is the same whether it’s physical or emotional stress. 

If you are feeling the effects of this catastrophic disaster—or if you’re just experiencing stress for any other reason—here are some ways you can support your nervous system and process what’s unfolding around you. 

Let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling 

Acknowledge and accept whatever emotions might be present for you. We tend to avoid feeling the more uncomfortable emotions or look for ways to dull them down—such as by seeking comfort in food or numbing out with alcohol. The more we do this, the more pressure we put on our body and our health. You will also build your emotional resilience by letting whatever is present be okay. The more you let yourself feel whatever it is you’re feeling, the more you’ll begin to see that uncomfortable emotions aren’t as scary as our mind makes them out to be. They can also help us take action that supports others and the planet. You will realise that you can have your heart shattered into a million pieces and still be okay. And if you’re not okay, acknowledging this can allow you to reach out and get the support you need. If you are dealing with trauma, please seek support. 

Look for other ways to reduce stress response activation

One of the best ways you can support your nervous system is by looking for ways to reduce other sources of stress in your life. Your nervous system responds to ALL potentially stressful stimulus so if you know that something in your life is adding more stress, look for ways you can reduce other sources. One way to do this is to reduce your intake of caffeine during periods of more stress as caffeine triggers the production of stress hormones. Another way is to introduce other strategies known to calm the nervous system such as via diaphragmatic breathing. 

Look for the beauty within the situation 

When disaster strikes, it’s easy to feel helpless and hopeless—and it’s okay to feel this way too. But there’s always something beautiful for us to see if only we look for it. What’s struck me about the fires is the outpouring of grief and support that is coming in from around the world. These kinds of experiences have a way of bringing us together and shining a light on the beauty of humanity. Let yourself see and feel that as well as the devastation and you’ll find that it diminishes that sense of hopelessness. There is immense strength in unity.

Whether you’re directly affected by what’s happening in Australia or just a loving human who cares deeply about what’s going on, I hope that you find in here some small antidote to the stress you’re currently experiencing. Take such good care of your precious selves—and each other and our Home. 

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