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Dr Libby Weaver

Why do you do what you do when you know what you know?

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Most of the time, it’s not a lack of education that stops people from doing the things they know they should do to look after themselves. We all know that working fourteen hour days, drinking too much coffee and not eating enough vegetables is not going to result in our healthiest self, but often times we do it anyway.

When we do things that we know we shouldn’t do, it usually means that somewhere under the surface of our actions some beliefs are sabotaging us. If you hear yourself say “I know I should but…” you can bet that there is something a little deeper that is stopping you from taking better care of yourself.

So what do you do about it?

Self-Reflect

For many, the first step to maintaining our wellness consistently is taking some time to reflect on those behaviours that aren’t so supportive and what might be driving them. For many, there is an underlying belief of not enoughness. This might show up in our lives as eating too much, spending beyond our means, or frequent brief intimate encounters. When we are in a trance of deficiency, our task—our only task—is to do what it takes to get more.

With decades of experiments, scientists have concluded that we don’t believe what we see, rather we see what we believe. Until you’re willing to explore your inner world and identify the beliefs that might be driving your version of the world, you will continue to act on your self-created version of reality. This is why a person who believes that people can’t be trusted will see “evidence” of this everywhere. To get to the heart of the beliefs that are holding your behaviours and actions in place we need to explore our emotional landscape to see why we feel the need to do things in the manner that we do, despite knowing better.  Naming beliefs and exploring the feelings that arise is an ongoing, exciting and heart-opening process.

One of the best ways that I know to explore your emotional landscape is to journal. It allows us to open up a conversation with ourselves and begin to reflect on what’s happening for us internally. If you’re new to journaling or if you feel you need some more specific questions try writing down your answers (usually our beliefs are tied to the first thing that comes to mind) to these questions, or come up with ones that feel more potent for you:

“I know I should stop                              but…”

“When I look at myself I see…”

“The most important thing in life is to…”

Explore your priorities

Some of the most regular themes I hear when I chat with people are:

“How am I supposed to eat well when I don’t have time to cook?”

“How can I look after my family when I just don’t have the time to prepare meals from scratch?”

While I appreciate that many of us are juggling many different tasks and roles daily, I do believe that, in general, we need to undergo a priority check and explore our values. A nourish diet is a basic foundation to human life and good quality health and there is nothing on this Earth that can replace it. Preparing real food or making space for a regular meditation practice may take more time, but it is time we have to allow for in our day.

When we say “I don’t have time” for something, what we are essentially saying is “that’s not a priority for me.” So try that on. How do you feel when you say to yourself that you don’t have time for whatever restorative or nourishing practice that will increase your health and vitality and reward you with renewed energy? The reality is we cannot compromise our nutrition and our body and still expect to have fantastic health and energy.

The Art of Small Incremental Change

The reality is if you try to change everything all at once, it’s more likely that you’ll give everything up as too hard. If you know that you’re someone who needs to stop drinking so much coffee, cut back one at a time before switching to green tea for a period of time. Look for easy, more nourishing foods to swap in for those that are less than nourishing. Set yourself a challenge to be in bed at 10pm at least two nights a week and then work your way up to five.

If you want to cut down your screen time, challenge yourself to have a digital detox evening one night a week and then try for another. If you go out for dinner, look for a restaurant that offers more nourishing food choices if you can. And do the things you know you need to one at a time. Perhaps set up a schedule (if that’s something that works for you) where every week (or two, or every month) you add another wellness practice to your daily routine so that over the period of months, you’ve made a number of changes that will radically change the way you look after yourself. And also remember it’s what you do the majority of the time that affects your health, not some of the time. So be gentle with yourself for those occasional not as nourishing choices.

A Few Suggestions to Get You Started

 If nourishing yourself with whole food is a challenge: Make yourself a green smoothie at the beginning of the day to take to work. Fill it with loads of leafy greens and top it up with a scoop of powdered vegetables for an additional boost.

If you know you drink too much alcohol for you: Start with two alcohol free days a week. Next time you go to an event where free alcohol is on offer, challenge yourself to opt for sparkling water instead. Remember that just because something is there doesn’t mean you have to consume it!

If your sweet tooth is letting you down: So many places are now offering raw desserts that are free from refined sugars, choose one of these instead or, better yet, make your own.

If you’re a workaholic: Sometimes we have deadlines that mean we have to work additional hours, other times it’s our own perception of urgency that drives us to work fourteen hour days. Check what this means for you.

How to support your body nutritionally after birth

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Physically, the process of growing a baby exacts a significant toll and this is not discussed enough. It can be physically and emotionally challenging to get back on your feet after a baby arrives, a situation made more difficult if there are additional young ones at home and if adequate support isn’t in place. Hormonally, nutritionally and emotionally, things can take time to restore and rebalance.

The term ‘post-natal depletion’ was coined by family practitioner Dr Oscar Serrallach, who works in Northern NSW. Post-natal depletion (not to be confused with post-natal depression) refers to the physical and emotional depletion that pregnancy and lactation can create if the right supports — both nutritional and emotional — are not in place, and the concurrent journey of that type of depletion alongside the sleep deprivation and worry that comes with being a new mum.

Mums with post-natal depletion feel deeply fatigued and exhausted. They may also have a feeling of ongoing “baby brain”, with poor concentration, poor memory and fluctuating emotions. Other symptoms include a sense of not coping, feeling tired but wired or tired on waking, falling asleep unintentionally, feeling not ‘good enough’, isolated, hyper-vigilant or anxious, and a sense of guilt or shame around the role of being a mother. Some of these will, at times, be experienced by many women, understandably given the extremely demanding task of being a mother, but not everyone feels this way – at least not constantly. So if you do, it’s important that you seek support, both nutritionally and emotionally.

These days, many women enter pregnancy with suboptimal nutrient stores, which are then further depleted by the time they give birth. Poor nutritional status at conception may be due to poor dietary choices, or it may be because their body hasn’t yet recovered nutritionally from a previous pregnancy. It is not uncommon to see the phenomenon of a mother giving birth to two children from separate pregnancies inside 18 months, particularly if they believe their “fertility window” is rapidly closing. Also, with assisted reproduction we are seeing higher rates of twins, which can physically exacerbate any depletion, having supplied two growing babies simultaneously with nutrition. You can do it. Of course you can do it! But additional support is required. And not enough people are aware of this or are taking actions to prevent or remedy the depletion.

To begin to address the depletion and fatigue that too many mothers are experiencing these days, it needs to be done gradually. Too much of anything, including information, can add to the feeling of being overwhelmed. However, working towards hormonal balance and nutrient repletion are key steps to getting a woman back to experiencing energy, achieving better sleep quality, and feeling that she can cope again.

It breaks my heart that many new mums feel pressure to lose “baby weight” or to regain their “pre-baby body” soon after giving birth. By restricting caloric intake you will also essentially restrict your nutrient intake, not to mention depleting your energy further. Please, please do not worry about the number on the scales. Your body has just grown a precious little human; it took time to do this and it will take time for your body to adjust back to its normal function. Right now, your body needs nourishment, especially if you are breastfeeding, so try to shift your focus to taking care of your body, rather than punishing it through deprivation. This is not the way to achieve optimal health (including a healthy “weight” for you).

Addressing micronutrient deficiencies and opting for a whole food way of eating with plenty of vegetables, are important places to start. During pregnancy, the mother supplies everything that the growing baby needs, so this is why many mothers become low in certain nutrients. For a depleted mum, iron and zinc will typically be too low for the body to make the substances required for happiness and optimism. The best dietary source of iron and zinc is good quality red meat, however a supplement may be necessary if a deficiency is present. Testing levels before supplementing is important.

Other nutrients that may need focus include vitamin C, vitamin B12, vitamin D and magnesium. Vitamin C is found in citrus fruits, kiwifruit, broccoli, cabbage and capsicum, vitamin B12 is found in animal foods and magnesium is found in dark green leafy vegetables, nuts and seeds. The majority of our vitamin D comes from sun exposure rather than from our food. You can have your vitamin D levels tested to see if a supplement is needed.

DHA, a long chain omega-3 fatty acid, is also essential for a depleted mum. This is vital for nervous system support (including the brain), as well as hormonal balance. DHA is essential for the growth and development of the baby’s brain during pregnancy – particularly during the last trimester – and it continues to accumulate in your child’s brain at very high rates up to the age of two. Because it is so critical for the development of the baby’s brain, maternal DHA stores can become depleted during pregnancy. Yet, adults need adequate DHA too, for the maintenance of normal brain function. So it’s essential that you consume adequate DHA both during and after pregnancy to support your own brain and nervous system.

The best source of DHA is oily fish such as salmon and sardines. However, it’s important to note that due to the mercury levels in seafood, 2-3 serves of low-mercury fish per week is considered a safe intake. The body can convert another omega-3 fatty acid (called ALA) found in plants such as flaxseeds, chia seeds and walnuts, into EPA and DHA (the omega-3 fatty acids present in oily fish) however this conversion can be inefficient, and some people may not be able to produce enough DHA through this pathway. So it may be necessary to obtain DHA directly from oily fish or to take a DHA supplement. There are now some good quality DHA supplements derived from algae, too.

If you are breastfeeding, your energy (calorie) requirements are actually a little higher than they were during your pregnancy, which is why you might often be feeling ravenous. Your requirements for a number of vitamins and minerals are also higher than they were during your pregnancy. Vitamin C is one example; the daily amount required to prevent deficiency while you are breastfeeding is about forty per cent more than it is during pregnancy.

So what should you eat? The focus for the depleted mum needs to be on easy, practical meals made from whole, real foods. Refined and processed foods tend to be devoid of the vitamins and minerals that are so critical to your health and vitality, so it’s essential that you eat plenty of nutrient-rich whole foods. A balanced, nutritious meal would involve lots of colourful vegetables, a source of protein (such as eggs, oily fish, good quality meat or poultry, or legumes), a source of carbohydrate (for example, potato, sweet potato, quinoa, millet or brown rice), and a source of nourishing fats (such as avocado, nuts, seeds or some extra virgin olive oil). Your body is your best barometer when it comes to what best serves you, so listen to the messages it is sending you and nourish yourself accordingly.

Here are some tips to ensure your body is getting the nourishment it needs:

Be prepared

When hunger hits, you want to have some nourishing snacks on hand so that you aren’t reaching for processed, convenience foods that are lacking in nutrition. You might like to prepare a big batch bliss balls made from nuts and seeds and a few fresh dates and keep them in the freezer so that you can grab a couple as needed. The nuts and seeds are rich in minerals and contain nourishing fats, which will help to satiate your hunger, and the dates provide carbohydrate for energy as well as fibre. Another option for a quick snack is to keep a couple of boiled eggs on hand. 

Cook in bulk

Rather than cooking just enough for one meal, cook a larger amount so that you’ll have leftovers. If you have more than one meals’ worth leftover and you’re freezing it, pack each serve/meal into a separate container so that you can easily defrost one meal at a time.

Slow cooker meals

Using a slow cooker can be a great way to prepare a nutritious meal – it just takes a little prep work in the morning or the night before, and you have a nourishing meal waiting for you at dinnertime. You can freeze leftovers, too.

Drink your greens

Green smoothies are an easy way to amp up your vegetable intake, and they can be a great snack to sip on while you are nursing. For an added boost of nutrients, try adding a serve of an organic green vegetable powder to your smoothie.

The dance between guilt and gratitude

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If you’re familiar with my work, you will know that one of my suggestions for reducing stress in your life is to practise gratitude. This is because it’s impossible for your brain to focus on two things at once – hello multi-taskers 🙂 – you can do two things at once but you can’t focus on two things at once. So, when you are feeling grateful, you can’t be stressed.

You may have also heard my encouragement to look for the gifts in your greatest challenges.

While both of these suggestions can be instrumental in reframing stress, it is equally important to acknowledge and reflect on whatever it is that feels like a source of stress for you before trying to put a positive spin on it or turning to gratitude.

When you flip straight to gratitude or positivity, it is easy to feel guilty if you complain about anything. A common internal phrase might be “there are so many people worse off than me”. A helpful reframe, yes. Yet it leaves you having not solved it or resolved to see it differently. Or not having taken new actions or addressed what really needs changing.

Constantly feeling guilty can be exhausting in itself and add to your invisible load. Whereas, if you follow the trail of your stress – with curiosity, rather than judging yourself – you can uncover underlying beliefs and values that shape your behaviours and reactions to what happens in your life.

There is also immense benefit in allowing yourself to feel whatever it is you are truly feeling. You may, for example, be masking feelings behind a label of ‘stress’ because you are trying to avoid an emotion that creates discomfort for you. Some of us learned over the years that it is not okay to feel emotions such as anger, disappointment, grief, sadness and frustration so we avoid or numb them out.

When we acknowledge how something truly makes us feel, we dismantle the power that it has over us. For example, saying to yourself ‘I feel angry about this’ gives you insight into what provokes you and the opportunity to do something about it (or not). On the other hand, it will take significantly more time and energy to sustain a pretence that you’re not feeling something when you are. Or trying to keep a tight lid on it to prevent other people from seeing it. Consider how the feeling is expressed, but don’t deny the feeling itself.

Emotions are transient, especially when we feel them in the moment rather than sitting on or avoiding them. And once you are aware of what actually sits at the heart of your stress, you give yourself the opportunity to change it for good.

5 ways to ease anxious feelings

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When we feel anxious on a regular basis it can take a significant toll on our health, not to mention our quality of life. It can create a ripple effect that begins to impact on things like our sleep, mood, focus and digestion – to name but a few.

If we want to address anything in our body, it’s helpful to find the road we took to create the problem in the first place. Anxious feelings are no different. There are various pathways that can lead to anxiousness. To get to the heart of it for you, get curious about the pathway that your body took. If anxious feelings are a recurring challenge for you, here are five ways to help ease them based on the various biochemical, nutritional and emotional pathways the body typically takes to create them. Sometimes there can be more than one pathway at play and so multiple strategies may be required to really get to the heart of it.

1. Reduce or eliminate caffeine

Caffeine has a powerful biochemical impact in the body. It works on the mechanisms that produce the stress hormone adrenaline. On its own this may not be an issue. Yet, if your body is getting the message to create stress hormones from more than just coffee (such as your perception of pressure and urgency and how you react to the things that happen in your life), caffeine will only add to the avalanche. Caffeine has a half-life of eight hours so its effects can be longer lasting than you might anticipate. Plus there is variability in personal tolerance, the threshold above which uncomfortable symptoms present – so each of us will have our own limit to what our body can manage before it makes us jittery, on edge and fractious.

This aside, if you are experiencing regular anxious feelings, reducing your intake of caffeine or eliminating it (for a period of time) can help to reduce them. For some, caffeine may be all they need to change while for others removing/reducing caffeine will support the other strategies by dampening down the stress response.

2. Promote progesterone production

Amongst other things, progesterone is a powerful anti-anxiety agent. Many women have lower than ideal levels of this important sex hormone – across all life stages. If you notice an increase in anxious feelings  and/or sleeplessness in the lead up to menstruation or as a symptoms during the peri-menopause years, if you have a tendency to a low mood, experience premenstrual spotting, heavy bleeding, PMT and/or feel like you can’t get your breath past your heart in the lead up to your period, these can be signs that you may be low in progesterone.

Ovulation stimulates progesterone production and one of the key saboteurs of progesterone is stress hormone production. Through our menstruation years, our body predominantly makes progesterone in our ovaries yet it also makes smaller amounts in our adrenal glands – where our stress hormones are also made. Once we go through menopause we rely solely on this adrenal gland production of progesterone.

If your body is getting the message to churn out stress hormones, it sees this as a priority over the production of other hormones, including progesterone. This is because your stress hormones are linked to your survival. Since your body translates stress to danger, and it doesn’t want you to bring a baby into a dangerous world, it has the option to downregulate your fertility pathways further reducing your progesterone production through the menstruation years. For all of these reasons, decreasing your stress hormone output can significantly support your progesterone production. The synergistic effects of the herbs Paeonia and licorice can also help to boost progesterone production as they help foster ovulation.

3. Include foods that promote calm

Sometimes anxious feelings can be a result of the body not getting enough of what it needs nutritionally. So just increasing your intake of whole real foods can make a difference. There are specific nutrients that help to foster calm within the body. These include:

Omega-3 fatty acids – found in oily fish, flaxseeds, chia seeds and walnuts.

Vitamin C – found in berries, capsicum, citrus, kale, broccoli and parsley.

Magnesium – found in leafy green vegetables, seeds, nuts, seaweed and raw cacao.

There are also medicinal herbs that can promote greater calm within the body. Some of these include skullcap, saffron and withania. Medicinal herbs are best tailored to your needs by a medical herbalist.

4. Reflect on your perception

Everyone creates explanations about what things mean based on their own experiences in life so far. They are created from the interactions we had as children with the adults around us, whether they were calm or chaotic. As adults, we continue to replay these same meanings, only we are usually not aware we are doing it. If we are running a story of “not enoughness” we will constantly create this meaning in our interactions with the people around us on a regular basis and this can be a source of immense anxiousness.

We can’t control what happens in our day, but with awareness and practice, we can begin to catch a glimpse of how we’re thinking. This is the ribbon we need to grab hold of in order to unravel our anxious feelings once and for all. It’s catching the perceptions, thoughts and beliefs that will ultimately alter our biochemistry, transform our health and our experience of stress, as well as how we live.

5. Improve gut health

Serotonin is a hormone (neurotransmitter) that leads us to feel happy, calm and content. About 80 percent of the serotonin in the body is made in the gut, so supporting good gut health can play a role in how we feel each day. When we think of our mood, we tend to think of it being related to our brain, yet many neurotransmitters are actually made in the gut.

Fermented foods such as sauerkraut are rich in acetic acid which can help promote good stomach acid production and hence great digestion via a well-established pH gradient, allowing beneficial microbes to reside in the large intestine, thereby enhancing our mood. You can buy them or make your own. Dark chocolate is a good source of tryptophan, an amino acid that supports the production of serotonin. Chocolate consumption also drives the brain to produce another chemical called anandamide, which has been shown to temporarily block feelings of pain and depression. Dopamine is also produced when we eat chocolate, and this can have a mood lifting effect on many people. However, for those with already elevated dopamine levels, excessive amounts of chocolate can lead to tension and aggression. So like with all things related to mood, there is no one size fits all; some find chocolate enhances their mood, for others it gives them a headache and/or fires them up. Bananas, particularly ripe bananas, can help to regulate dopamine –a feel good factor –as they contain a high concentration of tyrosine, an amino acid that helps generate dopamine in the brain. Bananas are also rich in B group vitamins, including vitamin B6, as well as magnesium, both essential for relaxation and a calm nervous system. Other food sources of tyrosine include almonds, eggs and meat.

Alcohol: how much is too much?

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Many people knowingly or unknowingly consume too much alcohol, having come to rely on it as a wind down tool at the end of their working day. And since it is also a common feature of many social gatherings, it can quickly become something that people consume every day without really thinking about it.

Some take the yo-yo approach to alcohol – perhaps hitting it hard on certain months and winding it back or abstaining from it on others, maybe joining challenges such as Dry July or Octsober. While your liver will thank you for any ‘break’ you give it, this scenario can still easily lead to too much alcohol consumption throughout a year, adding to your liver’s overall load and detracting from your health and daily sparkle, your motivation and overall zest for life.

The effects of too much alcohol may silently or loudly reverberate through your life, not to mention the lives of those around you. In excess, it can have traumatic effects in people’s lives, or drive some major or minor health concerns. The load that it places on your liver can lead to increased body fat, lousy energy, persistent fatigue, mood fluctuations, sleep disturbances and can worsen PMS and menopausal symptoms. As fun as it may momentarily be at the time, too much, or consumed too often, alcohol can rob you of your clarity and purpose, take the edge off your vitality and in a way your greatness.

When was the last time you paused to consider your relationship with alcohol? If you are really honest with yourself, are you drinking too much for YOU? Has it become a crutch to help you cope with perceived stress or to dampen down painful emotions? Does that actually work? Do you feel as though the only time you can let loose and enjoy yourself is with a drink in your hand?

These questions may be uncomfortable to consider, yet getting to the heart of your relationship with alcohol can make all the difference to your health now and into the future.

Many people I have worked with over the years feel immense resistance when I suggest that they take a four week break from certain substances, such as alcohol, that can add to their body’s load, to see how it makes them feel. This sense of resistance can offer insight into a person’s relationship with whatever the food/drink is. Sometimes it highlights that a substance is being used in an attempt to bring pleasure, avoid pain or mask what is really true for that person. Sometimes all of that might be at play. Recognising any of this may not always be easy.

We might also justify our choices by linking the drink to doing something we enjoy. We might pour a drink and chat with the person we love the most in the world, for the first time that day, for example. It’s usually the connection we relish most and we could pour ourselves some sparkling water or a tea and connect with our beloved as an alternative. Or it might be wine and the chat two days a week, sparkling water and that chat five days week, as these scenarios can lead to very different life qualities and future health outcomes.

Four weeks is such a short time in a very long life and a small investment that may lead to an immense change in your wellbeing and vitality. Yet, it is not enough to simply take a break from it and then go back to your old habits. This is not truly getting to the heart of your relationship with the substance, after all. And the over-consumption of anything, is not about the substance – it’s showing us our beliefs, if we want to dive deeper.

The current recommendations provided by heart organisations say that two standard drinks per day with two alcohol-free days per week is okay. Yet, for optimal health, I would encourage you to flip this and have five alcohol-free days with only two standard drinks on the other two days, if you choose to drink alcohol. Even this will be too much for some – even this can be enough to take the edge off hormone balance, robust gut function, mind clarity, stable moods, energy and vitality. Beyond this too, listen to your body. It’s all very well to say, “Dr Libby said it’s okay to do xyz”, yet, whenever you adopt any recommendation from an external source, I encourage you to check in with yourself to make sure it is truly making a difference. Your body may not have a voice, but it still communicates with you every day and it is so important you listen to it and act on what you know to be true for YOU.

To give you an idea, this is what a standard serving of alcohol is for each type of drink you may choose is in millilitres.

As you can see, a glass of wine you pour yourself can very easily become two or even three standard drinks if you are filling up a large glass! 

I’m not suggesting that you don’t drink alcohol – many people can take it or leave it – they’re not attached and no change is necessary. I simply want to appeal to you to get honest with yourself about how alcohol affects you. In your heart you know if you drink too much and when it is impacting on your health in a lousy way. Are you curious to know how robust, energised and clear you might feel without it for a while?

How the average modern life impacts on your adrenal glands

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When it comes to energy, vitality and many other aspects of your health, your adrenal glands pack a hefty punch. Only the size of a walnut, these two mighty glands are part of your endocrine system and they sit just on top of your kidneys. They produce an array of hormones (chemical messengers), which include our stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, sex hormones such as progesterone and hormones that help control blood pressure, fluid balance and salt retention in the body—just to name a few.

If we live a high-stress, fast-paced lifestyle, or live our lives on an emotional rollercoaster, our adrenal glands can get a walloping. In the last one hundred years or so our way of living has taken a radical change. Yet in terms of evolution, this is just a tiny speck of time and biologically our body has not yet had a chance to evolve to cope with our modern lifestyle.

To our body, any kind of stress, be it because we’re in immediate danger or simply feeling financial, relationship or work pressures, is interpreted as a direct threat to our life. Its protective mechanism is to fire off the stress hormone adrenaline which is designed to get you out of danger. Caffeine has the power to activate this biochemical response, sending a message to the pituitary gland in your brain that it needs to send a message to the adrenal glands to make stress hormones: adrenaline and/or cortisol.

Adrenaline makes your heart race, your thoughts race, and gives you a jittery feeling that can make it difficult to feel calm and centred, despite your best efforts. It also diverts blood flow away from your digestive system to your arms and legs—because if you’re in danger you need a powerful blood supply in your periphery to help you get away quickly. You also need fuel to help you escape, and the most readily available, fastest-burning fuel inside the body is glucose (aka sugar) which we get from carbohydrates.

Your liver and muscles store glucose in the form of glycogen, and adrenaline communicates to your liver and muscles when energy is required. Glycogen is converted back into glucose, and this glucose is released back into your blood. Your blood glucose (i.e. sugar) subsequently shoots up, ready to fuel your self-defence or your escape. And you feel amped up, although many people today don’t identify this, as they have become accustomed to it being their norm. This biochemical response can also mean that we crave sugar since elevations in our blood sugar lead to “crashes”. This creates a fatigued state that makes you feel as though only more caffeine or high-sugar food can fix it.

Signs that you’re adrenal glands need support

Fatigue, energy spurts and crashes, sugar cravings, poor quality sleep, anxiety, shaky hands, feeling as though your heart is going to beat out of your chest, digestive upsets such as reflux, bloating and IBS.

You can already start to see a picture of how our adrenal glands are affected by everyday living—and this is not even the entire story. If our body continues to perceive that it is in danger, it may lead to additional cortisol (our long term stress hormone) production, which brings with it a whole new array of health concerns.

If you’re feeling that your adrenal glands are getting a workout and might benefit from some support, you might like to reduce your caffeine consumption for a while (aim for one coffee a day maximum or omit it entirely). Additionally, we can communicate to our body that it is safe with slow, diaphragmatic breathing (with an emphasis on slower exhalation than inhalation) so try incorporating a breathing exercise into your daily routine. Remember too that unscheduled time to rest (beyond sleep) is essential for our health so try to include a small pocket for downtime each day.

Signs of stress and overwhelm that are often overlooked

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Are the signs and symptoms of stress and overwhelm slipping beyond your notice?

Ongoing stress can affect our body in myriad ways, but many people may not necessarily link this to the changes they experience in their body. For example, it’s easier to explain away a bloated tummy as the result of something we’ve eaten than it is to connect it to the pressure we were feeling to meet endless tight work deadlines, the worries niggling away at us about our weight or health, or an uncomfortable conversation we had. Yet, the latter scenarios can all be just as likely to have affected our digestion as the actual food we consumed. Perhaps even more so.

Another reason why many people don’t necessarily connect the dots between their stress and their symptoms, is because so many have now come to view their consistently high stress levels as ‘normal’, as well as the recurring symptoms they experience (which may be common, but not normal). Or, they perceive that others around them have more stress to deal with, so they’ll often say that their stress “isn’t that bad” or that they have nothing really to complain about.

So, what should you look out for when considering if stress and overwhelm might be affecting your body and health (provided other more serious reasons have been ruled out)?

Some potential signs and symptoms of chronic stress include:

  • Low energy
  • Sugar cravings
  • Feeling irritable or anxious
  • Reflux and indigestion
  • Bloating, tummy cramps and/or changes to bowel habits
  • Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
  • Waking up unrefreshed, despite enough hours in bed
  • Feeling tired but wired
  • More frequent infections – you seem to catch whatever is going around
  • Low libido
  • Thinning hair
  • Irregular periods or periods stopping altogether (and pregnancy and other causes are ruled out)
  • Premature ageing of the skin – you notice changes in your skin that seem to be occurring more rapidly than would be expected with the natural ageing process.

Of course, there can be other factors contributing to many of these symptoms and if they are unexplained and ongoing, it’s best to check in with your doctor. However, if you suspect that stress is likely playing a role, there is so much you can do to start to address this.

In my work, I like to consider any health challenge through three lenses – the biochemical, the nutritional and the emotional. I call it my three pillared approach. So, let’s explore how you can apply this to help your body better cope with the demands of our fast-paced, modern life.

The biochemical

From a biochemical perspective, you can influence the stress hormone production in your body through how you breathe. Long, slow breaths that move your belly out on the inhale, and back in towards your spine on the exhale, activate the calm arm of our nervous system, which results in a decrease in stress hormone levels. This truly can make such a difference, plus it’s free and can be done anywhere. Of course, the goal is to produce fewer stress hormones in the first place so truly getting to the heart of what daily stress is really all about for you can be vital as well, which often blends the biochemical with the emotional pillar. For example, when you run late and if this stresses you out, are you really just worried about what the person on the receiving end of your running late might think of you? Many of our daily stresses stem from concerns about the disapproval of others although it may not look like that on the surface.

The nutritional

When you’re churning out stress hormones, it’s especially important that you’re including a variety of whole foods to provide your body with the nourishment it needs. Nutrients of particular importance include magnesium, vitamin C and B-group vitamins.

The emotional

We can do all the ‘right’ things in terms of nutrition and incorporating restorative practices, but if we’re not turning off the tap on our stress, so to speak – or at least turning it down to a dribble – it’s going to be difficult for us to truly get the relief we need. So, the emotional part involves pulling back the curtains on our everyday stresses and what is actually at the heart of them. Exploring our perceptions of pressure and urgency can be so vital in helping us to change how we view and respond to potentially stressful situations, and can ultimately transform how we experience each day.

The challenge of prioritising our wellbeing

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Over the years, I have noticed that – particularly for women – there is this drive to put everyone else’s needs above their own. For far too many women, things like downtime, exercise and even their own nourishment, are so far down on their list of priorities that they often fall off the schedule entirely.

Not doing these things that maintain their own wellbeing is often clothed in statements like “I just don’t have time for that”. And that’s probably true. Yet, it is only true because they don’t prioritise them. We always make time for the things we prioritise.

It’s not a lack of knowledge that drives us to not take the best care of ourselves. Of course we know that we need to eat nutritious food, move our bodies and have plenty of rest for optimum health.

So if it’s not a lack of knowledge, why do so many people find it so challenging to prioritise their own wellbeing?

We are emotional creatures and so much of our behaviour, including the choices we make, is driven by our internal landscape – our thoughts, beliefs, values and emotions. Our emotions are influenced by our thoughts and our thoughts by our beliefs. And the majority of our beliefs are formed in the first seven years of our lives, meaning much of how we behave and feel is the result of the stories we told ourselves as young children to make sense of the world around us.

Most of us will have created a belief than in order to survive, we need to be loved or at least approved of. We do this because, as babies we are entirely dependent on our caregivers to survive. We are simply not capable of taking care of our own needs and without them to feed, nurture and protect us (to love us), we will die.

As adults, a love filled with love is one that feels enriching but it is not essential for our survival. Yet, if this belief that love/approval is essential to your survival is still floating around in your subconscious, it will drive you to prioritise being liked over everything else. And that is how you will end up putting everyone else’s needs first.

If you believe that without love you will die (and I mean on a very deep level, none of this is conscious in your thinking mind), you will do anything to convince people that you deserve to continue being loved. And you will most often do this by being of service to them. By doing things for them.

So many women will let their health completely fall apart before they will begin to prioritise their own care above their loved ones.

Yet, there’s a reason why the airlines say to put your own oxygen mask on first. We can’t be of service to others when we are depleted.

If this resonates with you, I can’t encourage you enough to reflect on whether a belief that love is intrinsically linked to your very survival is running the show.

4 ways to kick your perfectionism streak

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Have you ever felt the desire or need to be perfect, either in some area of your life or across all of it? Maybe you want your appearance to look perfect or feel a drive to portray a perfect life to others. For some, it seems that no matter how much they have or what they achieve, they’re always striving for more, to be better. 

There’s nothing wrong with having goals—it can be wonderfully motivating to have something to work towards—but when what you’re striving for is perfection, you’re always going to find yourself lacking. Between perceiving the need to project the perfect life on social media, maintain the perfect body, be the perfect parent, partner, friend, employee—this drive for perfection that’s permeating modern culture is simply not attainable. And it’s only going to exhaust you.

If your perfectionism streak is strong, here are four suggestions to help you curb it.

1. Explore your inner landscape

To get to the heart of the beliefs that are holding your behaviours and actions in place, it’s helpful to explore your inner landscape to see why you feel the need to do things in the manner that you do, despite knowing better. Why do you feel the need to be perfect? Where did it come from? Naming beliefs and exploring the feelings that arise is an ongoing, exciting and heart-opening process. One of the best ways that I know to explore your inner landscape is to journal. It allows us to open up a conversation with ourselves and begin to reflect on what’s happening for us internally. If you’re new to journaling or if you feel you need some more specific questions try writing down your answers (usually our beliefs are tied to some of the first things that come to mind) to these questions, or come up with ones that feel more potent for you:

  • “I know I should stop but…”
  • “When I look at myself I see…”
  • “The most important thing in life is to…”

2. Spend some time in play

If you’ve been bitten by the perfectionist bug, chances are you are caught up in achieving and always racing from one task to another. What do you love to do for fun? What can you do at least once on a weekly basis that takes you out of ‘doing’ and into ‘being’? Make room for play and for fun—and notice how it helps to relax that perfectionist energy. 

3. Take a break from social media

Social media presents endless moments to compare your life with others. Remember though that you are usually comparing your whole life against someone else’s highlights reel. Not everything you see on social media is real and most people do not share their darker, more challenging experiences either. You might like to delete the apps from your phone so it’s not as easy to get online or just take a hiatus for a while. Notice how it reduces you scratching the itch of your not enoughness.

4. Focus on supporting (or improving) your energy

It is more difficult to have supportive self-talk when we are fatigued. Make more choices that support your energy and take steps to minimise the choices you make that you notice actually take away from your energy. Notice the foods, drinks, thoughts and perhaps even people who do this. Ask yourself “will this nourish me?” before making any choices and let that answer be your guide.

Food and mood: some ways gut health affect calm and contentment

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When we think of our mood, we tend to think of it as being related to our brain. Yet many neurotransmitters are actually made in the gut. Serotonin is a hormone (and neurotransmitter) that leads us to feel happy, calm, and content, and about 80 per cent of the serotonin in the body is made in the gut. There are also particular strains of gut bacteria that contribute to the production of a range of neurotransmitters, including dopamine and gamma-aminobutyric (GABA), which exhibits powerful antianxiety properties. Besides the impact that poor digestion and an unhealthy gut microbiome have on our neurotransmitter production, in more general terms digestive challenges can leave us feeling lousy as we combat uncomfortable symptoms such as bloating, excessive gas, cramps, and indigestion. Supporting good gut health can play a significant role in how we feel each day. Here are some gut-loving foods that can help to improve your mood and keep your microbiome happy.

Fermented foods

Fermented foods are foods that have been through a process of fermentation (usually lacto-fermentation) in which bacteria feed on the sugars and starches in the food, creating lactic acid. This process preserves the food, plus some types of bacteria are able to produce B-vitamins. The fermentation of foods may also assist in making the food easier to digest. There are some suggestions that the bacteria in fermented foods are able to colonise the large intestine, however, stomach acid is supposed to kill any bacteria we swallow. If they are able to reach the colon, the acids in the fermented foods may offer some protection, allowing certain species to survive their journey through the digestive tract.  However, this mechanism is not yet well understood. It may be that the acetic acid present in many fermented foods helps to promote good stomach acid production, crucial for establishing a healthy pH gradient throughout the entire digestive system, and this may explain the link between the consumption of fermented foods and improved digestion. Fermented foods include sauerkraut, kombucha, miso, kefir, and fermented cashew cheese. You can buy fermented products or make your own.

Bananas

Bananas contain an amino acid called tyrosine, essential for the production of dopamine and serotonin. The riper the banana, the more tyrosine it offers. Bananas are also rich in B group vitamins, including vitamin B6, as well as magnesium, both essential for relaxation and a calm nervous system. Other food sources of tyrosine include almonds, eggs, and meats.

Dark chocolate

Dark chocolate is a good source of tryptophan, an amino acid that supports the production of serotonin. Chocolate consumption also drives the brain to produce another chemical called anandamide, which has been shown to temporarily block feelings of pain and those associated with a low mood. Dopamine is also produced when we eat chocolate, and this can have a mood-lifting effect on many people. However, for those with already elevated dopamine levels, excessive amounts of chocolate can lead to tension and aggression. So, like with all things related to mood, there is no one size fits all. Some find chocolate enhances their mood, for others, it gives them a headache and/or fires them up. It also contains caffeine which leads us to produce adrenaline, the hormone behind anxious feelings and a sleep disrupter. So again, for some, it supports mood, while for others it can add to an already heightened state that can be very uncomfortable.

Plant foods

Our gut bugs love plenty of plant foods. Some of the fibres naturally present in plants act as food for our gut bacteria and when the bacteria ferment the fibre, they produce short-chain fatty acids. These nourish the cells that line our gut to keep it happy and functioning optimally.

It is important to remember that the foods which are nourishing for one person may not be nourishing for another. I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve met who have continued to eat certain foods they have been told are “healthy”, despite their body sending them clear messages (often in the form of gut symptoms) that these foods aren’t right for them.

When we begin to pay more attention to how we feel after we eat, we can learn how to identify our body’s messages and improve our intuition around what’s right for us and what’s not. This includes what we eat and how to take better care of ourselves, but also extends beyond that to having the clarity of mind to make important decisions and the ability to get through our daily tasks without feeling overwhelmed.

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